Earlier this month, legendary cricket commentator Henry ‘Blowers’
Blofeld – he of the plummy upper-class voice and penchant for counting pigeons
and buses – retired from Test Match
Special at the age of 77. After the Test match on which he had been
commentating ended a short while later, he did a lap of honour of the ground
and was given a standing ovation by the spectators. In an age in which a
pre-requisite of sports commentary would appear to be having excelled at the
highest level of the sport in question, it’s unlikely that we’ll see his like
again. It is also highly unlikely that we will ever witness a septuagenarian
dressed in a mint-green blazer and scarlet trousers doing a lap of honour in
front of an adoring crowd ever again, even at Lord’s.
His father, as is reasonably well-known, provided the name of one of
the great villains of twentieth-century fiction; Ian Fleming, the
creator of James Bond, was at Eton with Blofeld senior and that is believed to
be where he got Ernst Blofeld’s surname from.
But did you know that Henry Blofeld almost played Test cricket
for England?
The records show that he was a promising schoolboy
cricketer (he even hit a century at Lord’s, for the Public Schools against the
Combined Services) but due to a road traffic accident in his teens – he was hit by a bus
while riding his bike – a career as a cricketer was a non-starter.
Nevertheless, he did play in 17 first-class matches, most of them for Cambridge
University (in typically self-deprecating fashion, he has described himself as
“an opening batsman of sorts … the worst Blue awarded since the war”) as well
as turning out for his native Norfolk in Minor Counties cricket in the late
Fifties and early-to-mid Sixties.
Career-wise, he spent a few years in a merchant bank before
going into sports journalism, and by 1963 he was reporting on cricket for The Guardian. It was in this capacity
that he went to India to cover England’s 1963-64 tour.
That was one of those sub-continental tours
where several of the visiting side were laid low due to either gastric problems
or injury in the warm-up games, to the point that by 20th January
1964, the eve of the of the second Test at Bombay, the England squad had just
ten fit players (including, somewhat unhelpfully, both wicket-keepers). Wisden would later describe the
situation as a “hospital background”. With no chance of anyone flying out from
back home at such short notice to make up the numbers – the mid-Sixties were
modern but not that modern – the man from The
Guardian was told by the England manager David Clark that the pair of them
were the only available options, and as Blowers was the younger man by two
decades he would most likely get the call-up.
“I replied I would certainly play if needed,” Blowers later recalled, “but if I scored 50 or upwards in either innings I was damned if I would stand down for the Calcutta Test ... I suspect that David’s reply was unprintable.” He was told to get a good night’s sleep, just in case, but as the enormity of his situation sunk in he barely slept.
The following morning, it turned out that his batting services would not be needed; England, in this case, did not expect. But only just. One of the sick, vice-captain Mickey Stewart (Alec Stewart’s dad) discharged himself from hospital and declared himself to be fit to play even though he clearly wasn’t. Thus did “the oddest England side ever to have played an official Test” (according to the reporter from the Daily Telegraph) take to the field, with just ten fit players and a tail-end that started with the number six batsman (Middlesex’s J.S.E. Price, who usually batted at eleven, would end up going in at number eight). India won the toss and elected to bat first, and by tea on the first day Stewart was back in hospital and would play no further part in the match; Kripal Singh, the hosts’ twelfth man, was called upon to field for the visitors. They were expected to lose, but curiously India failed to push home their obvious advantage and the match ended in a draw.
For the third Test, help from home arrived in the form of Colin
Cowdrey, who had not been selected in the first place because he’d still been
recovering from having his arm broken while batting against the West Indies at
Lord’s the previous summer. He would score centuries in the third and fourth
Tests. The five-Test series ended in a draw, with neither side winning any of
them.
Blowers, meanwhile, continued to work in print journalism until
1972, when he joined the TMS team.
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